What Pets Want, A Science-Based Guide to Better Care
Summary
Many pet care habits are built on human assumptions, not animal needs. This article translates Dr. Karolina Westlund’s ethology-based perspective into practical steps you can use right away. You will learn how breed history shapes dog behavior through the wolf predatory sequence, why “dominance” is often misunderstood, how to use a simple consent test for petting, and how calm human behavior can help animals settle. You will also learn a useful framework for animal emotions (valence and arousal), plus a clear way to think about cat scent marking and litter box avoidance.
🎯 Key Takeaways
- ✓A pet’s wellbeing often improves when you design daily life around species-typical drives, not human preferences.
- ✓Dog breeds were shaped by selecting different pieces of the wolf predatory sequence, which helps explain why different dogs need different kinds of enrichment.
- ✓Touch should be consent-based, many animals tolerate hugs and head pats rather than enjoying them, slow strokes and preferred scratch zones often work better.
- ✓Ethological dominance is about priority access to resources, not a pet “trying to control you,” misreading this can worsen fear and conflict.
- ✓Cat urine marking patterns can reveal whether the issue is territorial stress or possible pain-related litter box avoidance, patterns and placement matter.
Why “what pets want” matters for health
Pet care is health care.
Not only for animals, but also for the humans living with them. When a pet is chronically stressed, under-stimulated, or pushed into interactions they do not actually enjoy, the fallout often looks like behavior “problems”, reactivity, sleep disruption (for everyone), household tension, and sometimes injuries. Dr. Karolina Westlund’s perspective, grounded in ethology (the study of animal behavior in natural contexts), is that many common pet practices fail because they are designed around human instincts, not the animal’s evolved needs.
This framing is practical, not sentimental. It asks a simple question: what did this species, and this particular breed or individual, evolve or get selected to do all day? Then it builds daily life around those drives.
A key theme in the discussion is humility. Humans are primates, we hug, we pat, we make eye contact, and we assume closeness equals comfort. For many animals, those same behaviors can signal restraint, threat, or unpredictability.
Important: If your pet suddenly changes behavior (new aggression, hiding, house soiling, reluctance to be touched), it can be a sign of pain or illness. A veterinarian can help rule out medical causes before you assume it is “training.”
The goal is not to turn every pet into a working animal. It is to reduce chronic stress and increase safe engagement, so the animal spends more time in a calm, pleasant state.
A simple map of animal emotions, valence and arousal
One of the most useful tools Dr. Westlund brings up is a basic “emotion map” sometimes called the core affect space. It uses two dimensions.
Valence is how pleasant or unpleasant something feels. Arousal is how activated the body is, from low energy to high energy.
That creates four broad zones:
The practical takeaway is that pet wellbeing is not just about “more exercise” or “more affection.” It is about guiding the animal toward the right combination of valence and arousal for the situation.
Sometimes the fastest route to a calmer pet is not adding stimulation. It is removing chronic triggers that keep them stuck in high arousal unpleasant states.
Other times, the animal is in the low arousal unpleasant zone, and what looks like calm is actually under-stimulation. In that case, carefully designed engagement can move them toward pleasant states.
Did you know? Chronic stress in animals is associated with measurable physiological changes, including altered cortisol patterns. Reviews of stress physiology discuss how long-term stress can affect health and behavior across species, including companion animals (Merck Veterinary Manual overview of stressTrusted Source).
Touch is not automatically soothing, use a consent test
Many people assume petting equals love, and love equals wellbeing.
But the discussion highlights a more precise question: does the animal enjoy the touch, or do they tolerate it? Those are not the same.
The consent test (a small skill with big payoff)
A consent test is simple and surprisingly revealing.
If the animal leans in, nudges you, re-positions to “present” a body area, or re-initiates contact, you have a good sign of consent. If they freeze, look away, lick lips, move off, or show tension, that is useful information too.
This approach respects the animal’s agency, and it can reduce bite risk because it discourages prolonged unwanted contact.
Why hugs and head pats can backfire
Humans are “front-facing” social animals. We often approach head-on, reach over the head, and hug.
For many non-primates, a hug is restraint. A hand coming down on top of the head can be startling or threatening. Even if the animal does not react, they may be enduring it.
The conversation also highlights something many people notice once they try it: slow strokes can be more settling than fast patting. Fast, repetitive touch can increase arousal. Slower, longer strokes can help downshift.
Pro Tip: If you want to calm a dog, try 5 to 10 slow strokes along the side of the neck or chest, then pause. Watch for soft eyes, leaning, and relaxed breathing.
Co-regulation, how your nervous system affects theirs
A striking point in the discussion is that your state matters.
Not in a mystical way, but in a biological way. Animals read subtle cues, posture, muscle tension, breathing pace, and movement patterns. This is where Dr. Westlund connects to ideas often discussed under polyvagal theory and co-regulation, meaning one nervous system can help another settle through predictable, safe signals.
If you approach a nervous dog with quick movements, high-pitched excitement, and looming posture, you may unintentionally raise arousal. If you approach with slower movement, softer voice, and relaxed breathing, you may help the animal shift.
This is especially relevant when people use affection as a “fix” for fear. If the human is anxious and the dog is anxious, the interaction can become a mutual escalation.
A practical interpretation is not “be perfectly calm.” It is “be predictable.”
Predictability is a powerful safety cue for animals. It reduces the need for vigilance.
What the research shows: In behavior science, predictable routines and consistent reinforcement tend to reduce stress-related behaviors in many animals. Companion animal welfare resources commonly emphasize consistency and predictability as stress reducers (American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior resourcesTrusted Source).
»MORE: If you want a printable “consent test” and calming-touch guide, create a one-page checklist for your household and post it near the leash or treat jar. The consistency across family members is often what makes it work.
Dogs and the “evolutionary backpack”, the wolf sequence
One of the most distinctive parts of Dr. Westlund’s viewpoint is how she explains dog breed differences without reducing them to stereotypes.
Instead of saying “high energy dog” versus “lazy dog,” she points to the wolf predatory sequence and how humans selectively bred dogs by amplifying or reducing specific pieces of that sequence.
In simplified form, the wolf sequence includes:
Selective breeding often “froze” dogs at certain steps.
The key insight is that these drives are not “bad behavior.” They are behavior.
When a dog’s daily life blocks its strongest drives, the dog often invents substitutes, like chasing bikes, nipping kids, shredding furniture, or obsessively scanning windows.
Breed-informed enrichment (without turning your home into a training camp)
You do not need to replicate hunting. You need to provide safe outlets.
Here are examples aligned with the sequence:
Important: If your dog has a history of guarding objects or biting during handling, get guidance from a qualified professional. Many veterinary behavior groups recommend reward-based approaches and avoiding confrontational methods (AVSAB position statement on humane trainingTrusted Source).
Training and behavior, rethinking “dominance” and space
The conversation opens a classic debate, dominance.
What makes Dr. Westlund’s approach different is that she separates two definitions that people often mix.
Ethological dominance is not a personality trait
In ethology, dominance is typically defined as priority access to resources in a stable group. It is a relationship, not a moral status.
If five animals approach one resource, and one consistently gets access first while others defer, that is a dominance relationship. It can reduce conflict by creating predictable rules.
This is different from the sociological, human-focused idea that “dominance” means controlling others through intimidation.
When people assume a dog is trying to “dominate” them by jumping, crowding, or pulling, they may use harsh corrections. That can increase fear and defensive aggression, especially in sensitive dogs.
Space, approach, and why we misread dogs
A practical point raised is that humans often approach unfamiliar dogs in ways dogs might not prefer. People lean over, reach for the head, and move into space quickly.
Many dogs would do better with a side-on approach, allowing the dog to choose distance.
If a dog jumps on you when you enter, it can be excitement, learned reinforcement history, or seeking contact. It is not automatically a dominance bid.
Expert Q&A
Q: If dominance is about resources, should I “show my dog who’s boss” around food and toys?
A: The more useful goal is usually to make resources predictable and safe, not to create conflict. Many dogs guard food or toys because they are worried about losing them, so confrontational strategies can increase anxiety.
A calmer approach is to build trust through consistent routines and reward-based training, and to ask a veterinarian or credentialed behavior professional for help if guarding is intense or escalating.
Dr. Karolina Westlund, PhD, Animal Ethologist (as discussed in the episode’s ethology framing)
How to meet needs without over-arousing your pet
A common mistake is thinking enrichment must always be high energy.
But the core affect model suggests a more nuanced target: you want plenty of pleasant engagement, and you also want a reliable pathway back to low arousal pleasant states.
Here are practical strategies that fit this viewpoint.
A short calming routine can be more powerful than an extra mile.
Pro Tip: After any high-arousal play session, add a 2-minute downshift ritual, slow strokes if the pet likes them, a scatter of kibble in a towel, or a quiet chew. This helps teach the nervous system that excitement ends in safety.
Cats, scent, territory, and why peeing location matters
The video’s cat segment offers a very actionable lens: mapping the location of urine can give clues about what is driving the behavior.
Cats use scent in multiple ways, and the discussion highlights a distinction between scent marking that supports a sense of safety inside a territory versus urine marking that can occur at the outer edges.
Cats have scent glands in the face, and facial rubbing can be part of marking an inner, safe territory. Urine marking may show up more at the “outskirts,” such as near doors, windows, or boundary areas.
A simple home exercise, the “pee map”
If a cat is urinating outside the litter box, one practical suggestion is to sketch your home and mark where it happens.
The discussion also raises a critical possibility: sometimes the issue is not “behavior.” It may be pain.
If urination hurts, a cat can learn to associate the litter box with pain. Then the box becomes a cue for discomfort, and the cat avoids it.
This is why sudden litter box changes warrant a veterinary check.
For background, veterinary resources commonly emphasize that urinary tract disease and pain can contribute to house soiling and that medical issues should be ruled out early (Cornell Feline Health Center, FLUTD overviewTrusted Source).
Important: If your cat strains to urinate, cries out, produces little urine, or seems lethargic, seek urgent veterinary care. Urinary blockage can be life-threatening, especially in male cats.
Horses as prey and herd animals, welfare basics people miss
Although the episode centers on pets broadly, the horse discussion is revealing because it shows how ethology changes what you notice.
Horses are prey animals and herd animals. That means vigilance is normal, and social contact is not optional in the way humans sometimes treat it.
Dr. Westlund highlights several welfare mismatches that can show up in modern horse keeping:
When a species evolved to spend much of the day moving and foraging, a lifestyle built around short feeding bouts and confinement can increase frustration and stereotypic behaviors.
This is a generalizable lesson for dogs and cats too: if the animal’s day is mostly waiting, they will either shut down or create their own stimulation.
For broader context on equine welfare and the importance of social contact and foraging opportunities, veterinary references discuss management practices that support normal behavior patterns (AAEP welfare resourcesTrusted Source).
A practical daily routine, 10 minutes that changes a lot
You do not have to overhaul your life to apply this episode.
You do have to become a better observer.
Below is a simple routine that fits the video’s unique emphasis on consent, drives, and emotional state. It is designed to be short enough that most households can do it consistently.
How to run a “needs check” in 10 minutes
Start with a 30-second observation. Look for soft eyes, loose body, normal breathing, and willingness to engage. If you see stiffness, tucked tail, pinned ears, or avoidance, assume the animal may be in an unpleasant state and proceed gently.
Offer consent-based touch for 1 minute. Try the consent test. If the animal re-initiates, continue with slow strokes or preferred scratches. If not, respect the no and switch to a different kind of connection, like quiet presence.
Do 3 to 5 minutes of species-typical engagement. For many dogs, this is sniffing and searching. For cats, it may be a short play sequence that mimics hunt patterns (stalk, chase, pounce) with a wand toy. For horses, it may be movement and social contact opportunities.
Add 2 minutes of downshift. This could be a chew, a lick mat, a scatter feed, or simply quiet time in a predictable spot. The goal is to teach that engagement ends in calm.
End with one predictable cue. A simple phrase like “all done” paired with a calm transition helps reduce frustration because the animal learns the pattern.
This routine is not a substitute for adequate exercise, veterinary care, or training support.
It is a daily nervous-system hygiene practice.
Expert Q&A
Q: My pet seems “fine” with hugs and head pats. Should I still change how I touch them?
A: Many animals tolerate touch they do not prefer, especially with familiar people. A consent test helps you find what the animal actually enjoys, and it can reduce stress over time.
If the animal consistently re-initiates contact and shows relaxed body language, that is a good sign. If they freeze, turn away, or move off, consider switching to slower strokes in preferred areas or offering closeness without restraint.
Dr. Karolina Westlund, PhD, Animal Ethologist (episode perspective)
Key Takeaways
Frequently Asked Questions
- How can I tell if my dog actually likes being petted?
- Use a consent test, pet or scratch for a few seconds, then stop and remove your hand. If your dog leans in, nudges you, or re-initiates contact, that suggests enjoyment, if they freeze, look away, lick lips, or move off, they may be tolerating it.
- Is my dog trying to dominate me when they jump up or get in my space?
- Not necessarily. In ethology, dominance usually refers to priority access to resources, not a desire to control people, jumping is often excitement or learned reinforcement. If you are unsure, a reward-based trainer or veterinary behavior professional can help you assess the pattern safely.
- Why does sniffing seem to calm some dogs more than running does?
- Sniffing aligns with the early “search and orient” part of the predatory sequence and can be mentally engaging and self-directed. Many dogs downshift after sniffing because it satisfies a core drive without pushing arousal as high as intense chasing games.
- My cat is peeing outside the litter box, what should I look at first?
- First, consider a veterinary check because pain or urinary disease can change litter box behavior. Then map where the urine occurs, peeing near doors or windows may suggest territorial stress, while other patterns may suggest litter box aversion or different triggers.
- What is co-regulation with pets in simple terms?
- Co-regulation means your pet can pick up on your calm, predictable cues and settle more easily. Slower movement, softer voice, and consistent routines can help many animals shift out of high-arousal states.
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